Cars Reveal Much About
Their Owners
By
Sharron Stockhausen, MMA
A survey done by the Twin Cities Metropolitan Council revealed that
we’re no longer as worried about crime as we once were. In fact, out
biggest heartburn comes from traffic.
I’m on the road a lot. After awhile the driving becomes either
monotonous (which makes one sleepy) or enraging (which raises one’s
blood pressure). Neither is good for a person’s stress level, so I’ve
learned to look-really look-at the cars that surround me.
Every car reflects something about its owner. My fun comes in trying to
determine what that something is.
The easiest clues come from bumper stickers. People offer their
political opinions about which candidate they hoped would win. What I
can’t understand is why they keep announcing they supported a loser
years after the election passed. I think I’d want to get that sticker
off my car as quickly as possible since the next scheduled election for
that office lies in the distant future and there’s no guarantee that
candidate will run for it again anyway.
People also expound political opinions on tough social issues such as
gun control and abortion via bumper stickers. I don’t understand this
either since most of us who feel strongly one way or the other won’t be
swayed by a bumper sticker. I sure don’t want the person whose viewpoint
is directly opposite of mine to zero in on my car when what they’re
really angry about is traffic.
The bumper stickers I enjoy most are the ones that tell something more
personal about the car owner. These can range from comments on attitude
to comments on keeping one’s distance when driving. If you take the time
to read them, some of them are very clever.
Bumper stickers aren’t the only thing I notice on cars, however. I
notice the things people use to decorate the insides of their cars.
Women drivers seem to do this more than men. One of the most common
decorations is a variation on the theme of fluffy stuffed cats that lie
in the back window and gaze at the driver behind. Another common
decoration is anything with a bobble-head. Dogs with this affliction
have made way for sports figures with the same problem.
Back windows aren’t the only thing people decorate in their cars. Even
though it is against the law in Minnesota, many drivers hang things from
their rear view mirror. Recently a Minnesota court upheld the state law
that says that no objects shall be suspended between the driver and the
windshield except the visor and the rear view mirror. People who would
never drive without their seat belt seem oblivious to the fact that they
are breaking another law by hanging stuff from their mirror.
Some of the more common things I’ve seen hanging in this illegal
position are pine shaped air fresheners, fake flower leis, various
medals, parking lot passes, and women’s garters. I even saw a string of
paperclips swinging in the breeze once.
People like to decorate the outside of their cars too. Flags and ribbons
seem to be the most popular. Ever since the 1970s when the song “Tie A
Yellow Ribbon” came out, ribbons of all colors relaying all sorts of
messages pepper society. I’ve been told that a car sporting a red ribbon
on the antenna (I used to say aerial, but no one under 40 knew what I
was talking about) means that person doesn’t drink and drive. What
amazes me is that we need a ribbon to relay that message. I would think
all of us should know better than to drink and drive.
The flags people insert in their back window or door usually represent
our local professional football team. Either that or pizza delivery.
I’ve noticed other flags on occasion. One was a “Jolly Roger” (which is
a skull and crossbones and indicative of a party boat). At least the
Jolly Roger in the back window wasn’t accompanied by a red ribbon on the
antenna. If it had been, that would have been one mixed up driver.
Some people patch their cars rather than decorate them. Duct tape and
red cellophane seem to be the materials of choice. I can only guess
these car owners got the insurance money and used it to replace their
deductible, then spent it on something else. That, too, reveals
something about the car owner.
Windows are fun to observe. Some SUVs have such dark windows you can’t
tell if anyone’s in them or not. I would think that would cause our law
enforcement some concern when they stop the vehicle for a moving
violation. Someone in the vehicle could pull a weapon and by the time
the officer gets to the driver’s window, that officer could be in real
danger.
Another thing I notice a lot is cracked windshields. I’ve never had one.
Yet, I think they’d be a safety concern for the person who does. Maybe
people don’t get their windshields fixed because they’re vegetarian and
can’t cope with getting those boxes of meat.
The last thing I notice about cars is their wheels. With all the hoopla
about tires these days, I’ve begun looking down more. I don’t have the
percentage, but I’d guess that at least half the cars are missing at
least one hubcap or wheel cover. I don’t see many white wall tires
anymore, although they were considered very cool in my youth.
I don’t see mud flaps or curb feelers anymore either. Mud flaps were an
essential part of keeping mud off cars just a few years ago. Curb
feelers announced the proximity to the curb when parking in town. I
don’t know when they lost favor with car owners.
There you have it. My observations of cars that share the road with you
and I. What does all this reveal about the car owner? You can make up
your own mind on that one.
Test your own observations skills the next time you’re stuck in traffic.
It’s fun and sure beats using sign language on the driver who cuts you
off.
Sharron Stockhausen is an author, consultant, coach, educator, and
speaker. She owns Stockhausen Ink and is CEO of Expert Publishing, Inc.
Visit her company websites at www.stockink.com and
www.expertpublishinginc.com.
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