STOCKHAUSEN INK
WORK IS FUNDAMENTALLY STRESSFUL
By Sharron Stockhausen
No matter what your work is, it is fundamentally stressful. For some of us the stress is primarily physical stress. For others it's primarily mental stress. Either way, we feel the effect of work stress in our lives.
Physical stress tends to get the adrenaline pumping. We often experience an energy surge and take care of whatever it is we need to do.
Mental stress can be a bit more complicated. It often sneaks up on us. We don't even realize we're experiencing mental stress until we get symptoms such as a stiff neck or an eye twitch.
There are many causes of mental stress, but here are four major ones. First, you feel threatened in some way. Perhaps you approach a group of peers who appears to be having a good conversation, but as soon as one of them spots you coming, the conversation comes to an abrupt end. Maybe you're like most and immediately think they quit talking either because they were talking about you or because they didn't want to include you for some other reason. Well, perhaps they were talking about you, but why do you think they were saying something negative? Perhaps they were planning a surprise get-together and you were the guest of honor. Instead of considering there may be a positive reason the group grew silent, most feel threatened and unaccepted in a situation like that.
Another major cause of mental stress is change. For some reason most of us have a negative connotation of what it means to experience change. Change can be-and often is-good. Unfortunately, few view it that way and thus become frustrated when things aren't always as they were.
A third cause of mental stress is unmet expectations. If you stop a moment and think about the things that have really brought you down, I'll bet most of them are rooted in unmet expectations. Have you ever been up for a promotion you didn't get? You must have expected to be successful in your bid for the job or you wouldn't have applied. When you weren't selected, you had an unmet expectation. The same goes for the amount of the raise you received at your last performance review. If it was less than you anticipated it would be, you had an unmet expectation. Isn't it interesting that if it's more than expected, most of us don't experience the same level of mental stress?
The final major cause of mental stress is loss. This differs from unmet expectations because most loss is unexpected because you most likely didn't see it coming.. Perhaps you lost a good client or sales account. Perhaps you lost money on a project. A loss of any kind can create mental stress. Your job is to recognize what's causing your stress so you can respond accordingly.
The three basic ways to respond to stress are resistance, avoidance, or adaptation. Often resistance (to change, to new ideas, to assignments, to people) creates more stress than ever. Avoidance allows us to bury our heads in the sand like the proverbial ostrich. We eventually have to come to terms with whatever we're stressed about however. That's why we often hurt ourselves more by relying on self-medication or alcohol or some other comfort mechanism..
Adaptation may be your best alternative to dealing with mental work stress. By examining whatever's creating your stress you can dissect it until you understand it better. As you break it down into smaller pieces, you can consider ways to deal with the small parts that make up the whole. For example, when the work group stops talking whenever you come around, smile at them as you pass anyway. The next chance you get to talk with one of them alone, be friendly and make mental note of how they react to you. You may repeat the process with each of them until you decide which of them you can trust to be honest with you. Finally, you may want to tell that person about your concerns and see what feedback you get. Sure, it'll take some work on your part, but once you know what you're dealing with, you can adapt how you handle it.
Let me challenge you to make a note of how many times you make assumptions about something you observed (either at work or in your personal life). Perhaps you overheard an incomplete conversation (especially on the telephone) and filled in the blanks yourself. Perhaps you saw someone do something at work and assumed it was wrong.
After you make your assumptions, try to verify their accuracy. Was the other side of the conversation close to what you thought? Did your co-worker really do something wrong, or were you the one who was in error? When we don't have a complete picture, it's our nature to fill in the blanks to round it out. More often than we'd like to admit, however, we were mistaken.
Once we realize our frailties, we are well on our way to reducing our mental stress. Our unmet expectations become fewer. Our resistance to the world around us becomes more manageable. And our adaptation increases.
If you take a good inventory of your life, I trust you'll realize you're doing better than you thought. When you do, congratulate yourself. You won't be disappointed.
Sharron Stockhausen, MMA, is an award-winning author, speaker, trainer, coach, and consultant. She owns Stockhausen Ink and is CEO of Expert Publishing, Inc. Visit her and her companies at www.stockink.com and www.expertpublishinginc.com.
